Recipe 4 Disaster
by hibiyuru
Summary: Tenten is an awfull cook Neji loves her but he can't stand her cooking what will he do when his secert stash of ramen is thrown away. READ AND REVEIW
1. Gunk for dinner

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

This is my second Fan fiction so don't scold me if you do not like it :)

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A Recipy for Disaster

Chapter one: Gunk for dinner.

Neji POV:

I was on my way home back from a three day mission, all I wanted to do now was have a nice meal and then go to bed.

I stepped into the house only to smell the weird concoction my wife was cooking, tonight smelt like carnivore salad with chocolate drizzled on top. Oh my god.

I love my wife to bits but stepping into the house eating her food was worse then any other mission a man could have. We rarely have dinner parties any more because people never come unless they hear we are having take out or unless I'm cooking. Tenten had a thing about experiencing new taste she never liked to eat the same thing twice in a row other wise she'd go nuts. She always had a thing about having something sweet in every meal. It was a nightmare.

"Hey hon... Im back...what you cooking there?" With Tenten you had to tread softly...never insult her cooking. Otherwise she would go ballistic. I remember one time, it was when we first got married I asked if she knew what she was cooking and that it smelt awful I remember sleeping on the lawn with nothing but a bedspread to cover me it was thin and I was cold, I woke up with people starring at me...Naruto had walked past at one point and he said 'Gosh he must have insulted her cooking'. I stared at him look of utter disgust on my face, how dare that bastard say that.

Suddenly two kids pounced on me. Ahhh, it's only the twins. At the age of four both were carbon copies of their dad. Of course they had my features but they still had Tenten's smile...

"Hey Neji-kun what are you day dreaming about..How was the mission?" asked my wife.

"It was fine...what's for dinner tonight?"

"Im glad you asked...tonight...kiiiiiiii-ids...drum rollllllll...laaaaaaaaaallaaaaaaallaaaaa...tonight"

"Bruuummmmbrumm" the kids still doing their drum roll...I rolled my eyes

"TONIGHT IS...CHICK CHICK CHOACK CHOCK CHICK" She said expecting applause...so I did...I applauded her...seeing her smile made up for everything though.

So I pulled out a chair for her and waited for her to sit on it. She served me a big dollop of the food, the kids were jumping up and down they strangely loved her food.

"Hibiki, Mai...Sit down please" Hibiki was the oldest Mai..The youngest.

"Yes..Maaaa" they said in unison

"Okay guys Itadakimasu" Shouted Tenten at the top of her lungs. I looked down at my food...I stared and stared...Oh well here goes...swallow..glup...vomit bluucchhh yuk yuk yuk I thought in my head.

"NEJI...have you lost you're manners?" asked Tenten

"Gomen...gomen...I have an upset stomach. can I have an aspirin, then go to bed?"

"Oh ok...shall I cover you food for later?" she asked with a wide smile.

"Oh god no... I mean no thank you... it was great though!" any thing to not spend another night on the lawn.

"Ok then get well soon"

"Thanks..." with that I ran up the stairs into the upstairs kitchen...where's my secret ramen stash? Final I found it... She really has to learn how to cook properly. I can't live on this forever.

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Thanks for reading...next chapter will be out in a few days

Please RR


	2. Deja Vu Sleeping on the lawn

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!

Please R and R

Sorry I spelt HYUUGA wrong...how could I?

Thanks Tami- for spotting my mistakes.

And thanks: Lee-sanOnee-san and Batou for your nice reviews (They might get lost since i am replacing the last chapter)

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Recipe for Disaster

Chapter 2: Deja Vu- Sleeping on the lawn

Tenten POV:

So my husband told me that I had a tummy upset today and he did not eat his din din. I was sad but I knew he couldn't help it. So anyway I was on my way to bed, I let my hair fall free from its buns and I climbed in with my Neji.

It was then that I smelt it...the smell of...

RAMEN

"Hyuuga Neji...WAKE UP" the kids were down stairs in their room, blissfully sleeping so no matter how much I scream they would not hear...this is a good thing because I was about to give Neji an earful. He shot up and started to rub his eyes.

"Do you have any idea of what time it is?"

"You've got a nerve rising you're voice with me...why do you smell like Ramen?"

"Oh god...do we have to do this now?" I glared at him. "Yes well I was hungry after a while so I ate some"

"Why couldn't you eat my food then?"

"That's it get you're ass on the lawn NOW"

"It's the middle of winter and it cold out there!"

"You should have thought about that before you insulted my cooking"

"Wait...I didn't say it was bad I just said '...'"

"That's my point now leave"

"Fine" It was sad to see him leave but he did lie to me plus no one insults my cooking and gets away with it.

Neji POV:

So...She kicked me out again. What makes her think she can do what she wants? Any way its winter and its freezing out here, just before I left she tossed me an electric heater... In case she forgot there are no plug sockets out here. She was being evil...malicious. God only knows she can be really evil when she wants to be.

I fell asleep after awhile but when I woke up I saw that damn Shikamaru with his arm linked around his wife Temari who was cradling their new born baby girl. "Women are soooo troublesome aren't they" he complained, "What you do this time...Insult here cooking?" He received the ultimate death glare from Temari. Neji smirked to himself knowing that he would not be the only one sleeping uncomfortably.

I eventually fell back into a deep sleep but when I woke up Mai was sitting on me. "Mai-chan what are you doing here your mum will go bananas if she finds you here"

"No its ok I asked her n she said yes. I'm sitting on you to keep you warm...you look cold...bbrrrrrrr" I smiled inside knowing that at least someone loves me I wonder where Hibiki-chan is...

Mai POV:

I felt sorry for chichiue to day. He looked so cold; oka-san kicked him out. I can understand why chichiue doesn't like oka-san's cooking because sometimes she makes porridge she always has to put something weird in it like chicken glazed in chocolate...or caramelised eggs... I pretend to like it because I don't want to end up like chichiue sleeping on wet grass. Why can't I have normal food like the other kids?

Hibik POV:

I can't side with nee-san on this one...I love oka-san's cooking. OKA-SAN rules. I can go out side and sit on chichiue because that would be horrible to oka-san and she would be all alone. I love chichiue too but between you and me I choose warmth over cold any time...

Tenten POV:

Hmmmm... What is for dinner tonight?

Neji POV:

Maybe I could eat out today.

Mai POV:

If chichiue is eating out today I wonder if mum will let me go with him.

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Hibik POV:

Lame chapter?

No flamers!

Ps...Next chapter Tenten's dinner party!


	3. The Dinner Party From Hell

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!

Please R and R

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Recipe for Disaster

Chapter 3: The Dinner Party from Hell

Neji POV:

Now although I had diarrhoea this morning and although I still had to eat Tenten's food, I was still in a good mood, this is because today is my sixth year wedding anniversary. As I walked down the stairs the smell of fish and honey assaulted my senses. Oh no what was she doing.

Tenten POV:

Since Neji loved yesterday's dinner I thought I'd cook again. "Hey why are you cooking for to night? I thought we were eating out." Now I thought this was a silly question because I thought Neji knew that we were having guest over tonight.

"Neji darling...we are having a dinner party didn't you know? Everyone is coming over today because we haven't seen them in ages. Now would you mind peeling the oranges for the soup?"

Neji POV:

So I started peeling and then I thought 'oh no' because people hated her food. I was no longer in a good mood. Today was meant to be mine and Tenten's day...no one else's. "So what time do the guests arrive" I snapped

"Oh around five I guess, that way they can leave early and we can go out after" These made me lighten up a bit. I was happy again but one question still remained ' what will the guest eat?'

Around five o'clock the first guest arrived. It was my Hinata and her husband Choji that arrived first. Thank god Choji's here he eats anything so the food will be gone before the rest of the guest can arrive. I ran up stairs to see if I still had my ramen stash, but there wasn't any, it was strange because I remember I bought some the day before yesterday. Oh no she has hidden it.

"Looking for some thing?" A voice behind me said... it was Hibiki, thank god, if it were Tenten I would be in deep trouble.

"Where are they...Where did your mother hide them?"

"Give it up chichiue; mum will kill you if she finds out what you're doing."

"What do you want I will give you any thing? What do you want...a pony?

"Gimme fifty dollars and then its settled"

"Fine" I handed her the money, "Now where are they we can't feed the guest what you're mother has cooked"

"They are I my wardrobe second shelf on the right." She skipped off and left me.

Hibiki POV:

Gosh I really am evil. Hehehe fifty dollars richer. YEAH! Chichiue really is rather silly. How is he going to cook ramen for everyone when mum's got all that food?

Neji POV:

Ok so by the time Choji finishes all the food every one will be here and no one will have any food to eat, this is when I come in and pull out the ramen. Great plan Neji.

So by the time I got back down stairs music was playing the guests were coming and Choji was eating. God bless that man. Sasuke and Sakura had arrived with their little tykes. So kawaii. Err...did I just say that? The excitement must be going to my head. Naruto and Ino arrived a little late looking a little flushed, hmm I wonder why. Shikamaru and Temari came next claming that the baby had been troublesome constantly crying. So by the time everyone had arrived all the food had been eaten by Choji. YaTa...This was great!

Tenten POV:

So every one was here by five thirty and all the wonderful food I had left out had been eaten by Choji. Bless him... He was no longer fat but he sure knew how to stuff his face. I knew this would happen so...

"Hey everyone it appears all the food is finished… but never fear for I have reinforcements."

Neji POV:

Everyone in the room sweat's drops. (o.o)'

Looks like Tenten is two steps ahead of me...my plan will not work.

Sakura POV:

Don't get me wrong I love Tenten like a big sister but sometime she can act a little crazy plus her food isn't all that good".

Sasuke POV:

I seemed like all the men let out a sigh of complaint but I just said nothing. All men that complained received a slap from their wife and the death glare. It seems like everyone will be sleeping on the grass tonight. I smirked to myself. My thoughts were interrupted by Sakura, I love her but she really can be irritating when she interrupts my thoughts! "Sasuke-kun why are you smirking to your self?"

Oh jeez, what do I say to her? Say something BAKA "Um I was just remembering the time when you fell off the tree trying to catch the balloon for Kai"

"Eh? That never happened"

"Oh... it was in my dream."

"One word. LAWN" Oh man!

Neji POV:

It seemed like no one was happy about Tenten's reinforcements. I could only hope that Choji would eat this up just as fast but it seemed like the more he ate the more she pulled out reinforcements! Come on she would have to run out at some point. So eventually she did. And when I offered to make some ramen for the guest she said "LAWN" well I guess its all the men camping out side to day...well every one except Choji, even though he had eaten all the food my cousin Hinata-sama would never have the heart to throw him out.

Hinata POV:

With my special eyes I could read everything my cousin was thinking but how little he knew because Choji was going to go in the back yard tonight. I do not display my marrige problemson the lawn like everybody else. Silly fool for eating so much!

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So you guys want to know how the rest of the party will end up. R and R then find out in the next chapter!

(NO FLAMERS)

(o.o)' -this means sweat drop in case you didn't know!


	4. Party Is Over Get On The Lawn

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and frankly I'm sick of saying so!

Thank you to the only two people who last reviewed this story!

Lee-sanOnee-san

moonlightpath

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Recipe For Disaster:

Chapter Four: Party Is Over Get On The Lawn

Neji POV:

So before Tenten managed to pull out all the food she had made everyone decided that it was time to leave, they made excuses about having to put the children to sleep. I did not need my Byakugan to see that Tenten was disturbed, she seem to be gutted that everyone hadn't eaten anything, except for Choji.

Tenten POV:

Maybe Neji was right maybe my cooking is so revolting that everyone refuses to eat it. Maybe I should take up cooking classes from Hinata or something like that?

Neji POV: 2 hours later

So a while later I tried to comfort her but she sent me out side for lying, I went out side, but this time I was fully equipped. I had a torch, a blanket, a water bottle and other stuff I had put in my emergency lawn box. As I walked out side I saw all the men camping since they too had been kicked out. They didn't seem to have quilts with them so I made my way to my special place under the canopy of trees so that I wouldn't be seen. There is no way I'm sharing my quilt with any of these bakas.

Sasuke POV:

There's that 'SOB' Neji,its his fault I'm out here because if I hadn't gone to the party then I wouldn't have said what I did, so...he got kicked out too, I thought that it was his wedding anniversary...hahaha… marriage problems. "You can talk Uchiha...why are you out here if your marriage is soooo perfect?" Oh shiten hosen he heard me thinking... Eh? How did he do that, but I guess he is right.

Shikamaru POV:

Oh crap their going to start a fight now, all I want to do is sleep in peace and harmony...in my bed, it's hard being married to Temari, she so demanding. "Do this, do that blah blah blah" Oh crap I'm talking loud again.

Naruto POV: Suddenly everyone's attention seemed to be pointed at Shikamaru. The cold must be getting to him since he started talking to himself. I just do not understand why women never tell each other when they have a fault, they always have to cover it up or something. Take Ino for example she always has to plaster all that darn foundation on her face in the morning, why can't she just be happy with her natural beauty. Wow...that's deep.

Sasuke POV:

Is that Naruto over there? Oh my God is he actually thinking? Oh my god someone needs to help him before he like has an overload from thinking.

Neji POV:

Damn how the hell am I supposed to get some sleep when all these people think so loud, don't they realise that they are actually talking. I haven't eaten anything all day and now I feel so empty...why am I sitting out here on my anniversary night when I should be inside. "Say Neji..." Uchiha suddenly grabbed my attention. "Why are you out here?" he asked.

"...well I was trying to comfort Tenten and then she told me to pi off, she's angry and blames me because no one ate her food."

"Women are troublesome" I herd Shikamaru say from the other side of the road.

"Sakura's pregnant again, that's why I'm out here" (Sasuke POV: god if they really didn't see that she was heavily pregnant, then they really must be thick...I mean all their wives knew!)

"I knew it. Every time she wears baggy clothes I just know she's pregnant." Said Choji...wait Choji what is he doing out here?

"I think Ino just married me for my body" said Naruto

"..." silence from everyone

"What, I really do!"

"So any way" I said. Why are you out here Choji?"

"Hinata-chan kicked me out"

"What. no? really?" said Sasuke in a sarcastic voice.

"Why" I asked.

"Because women are troublesome...and I ate too much apparently" said Choji sheepishly.

"Hey, that's my line" said Shika; he had to raise his voice every time since he was further down the road.

Choji POV:

Jeez, what is this 20 questions? God I'm hungry.

Shika POV:

I walked over on to Choji's lawn, why the hell did Temari have to buy the house that was furthest away?

Sasuke POV:

I lay down looking up at the beautiful night sky. All of a sudden Sakura padded out bare footed declaring that "Sasuke-kun... the baby, its coming!"

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You like? Read and Review!

Thanks 4 reading!


	5. How r babies made?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

I think it's pretty pathetic that I only have like 10 reviews for this fic...lol

Thanks to moonlightpath, ero-jounin, FireDragonBL!

I've heard that my fic is not funny enough so sorry if its crap...I have replaced chapter five with this so I hope its better... I only go one review for chapter five so I assume that either people can't be bothered to review or that it wasn't good enough. You see I wanted to change the parings because I do not like Hinata and Choji together or Shika and Temari etc...

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Chapter Five: Where do babies come from?

Sasuke POV:

Oh crap why me, why the hell now? I was about to fall asleep and then grrrr. Oh my god what am I thinking, I should go and help her. So a few minutes later we got all Sakura's belongings into a bag. Now why do I feel like I have forgotten something? Clothes...check, sweets. Check, name book... check, stress ball...check. (I bring stress balls now because when we had Kai (our first child, Sakura broke both of my hands...if it were any one else I would have beaten them to a pulp.) So I still feel like I have left something...

"Chichiue...need to go ka-ka-pee-pee...owww.Chichi...Ka-ka hurting botty... kaka pushing otta my botty. Owww Chi-wwaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaaa." said my youngest son Ichigo. Oh my good god, now I remember, oh no where are the kids going to go?

Ichigo POV:

Need to go pee-pee...oh no go na pee pee in panties mummmmmy. Don't cry...Ichi...Pee pee Ichi. Ahhh...panties wet now... oh no.

Sakura POV:

Mean while, while my baby is threatening to kick its way out of me, my good for nothing husband is thinking? What's going on?

5mins later:

So after I woke up the whole neighbourhood Tenten and Neji decided they would baby-sit Kai and Ichigo for us. Naruto drove us to the hospital taking the whole road with him... the whole road being Temari, Hinata, Choji and Ino. Shikamaru decided that coming to the hospital would be to troublesome so he stayed to look after his little one named Hime.

Naruto POV:

There sure are a lot of people in the car...

Temari:

Yey... I love babies.

Neji POV:

Great now we are baby sitting on our wedding anniversary.

Hinata POV:

For the love of god... I just want to sleep why did Choji drag me?

Choji POV:

Chew chew...gulp gulp God I'm hungry!

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Tenten POV:

So it's Ten pm at night and Ichigo's pants are soiled, my little ones are fast asleep and so is Kai. Let's see. Someone was tugging at the hem of my skirt then I realised it was Ichi. "Hello Ichi you ok?"

"Nooo...Botty wet...Ichi pee peed" So a few minutes later I bathed him and then tucked him away.

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6:30 in the morning -

"Waaa...where am I?" I heard a voice call...it was Kai, I ran up to him to comfort him the last thing I wanted was for everyone to wake up, because I was preparing breakfast and I wanted it to be a surprise.

"Shhh...It's me aunty Tenten, mummy and daddy are going to get the baby now."

"The baby?"

"Yes, they will be back soon."

"Aunty Tenten, where do babies come from?"

"Hello" he said while waving a tiny hand in front of my face.

"Are you hungry?" I said trying to divert the conversation else where.

Kai POV:

Why do adults do that every time I ask where babies come from, it's stupid really. Is it really something to be embarrassed about?

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Neji POV:

Yea so I couldn't even sleep in my own bed yesterday...I had to sleep in the kids room...well at least it's an upgrade from sleeping on the grass. Wait a moment; I think I still have some grass in my hair since last night. Ah, well. Oh god is that breakfast I smell?

So a while later everyone was up, even the kids. They were sitting down watching TV, so I decided to go into the kitchen. I looped my arms around Tenten's waist while she spoon fed me something from a pan. I pretended to like it like I always do and she was happy with that. "Did I put too much salt?" she asked me.

"..." Silence.

The kids came round to the table. They took out their chopsticks and looked at the food. After a while they started eating.

Ichigo POV:

Everyone knows aunty Ten's legen de airy tempo tem per re so we never say that the food is bad. Otherwise she will tell mum n mum smacks bottys and cry. She says "be nice to aunty Tenten"

Kai POV:

Hibiki is looking very radiant and pretty today. Stares at her dreamily

Hibiki POV:

Oh my god, that freak is staring at me again. Kai asked me out last month I told him no but he still fancies me. For god's sake, I'm like five years old, I don't have time for boyfriends, and I need to become stronger.

Mai POV:

Uh oh, Hibiki's going to get angry now...

Tenten:

Yey...everyone's eating happily. YaTa!

Neji POV:

Waa? Not one complaint? What's up with these kids?

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At the Hospital, Sasuke POV:

So it came out eventually, slime, blood, placenta and all. God how can people say that this is beautiful? Ok, so a few minutes later it was all cleaned up...yea now you can say its kawaii! It was a she. She had pink hair just like her mother and beautiful black eyes like my own. Ahh. I think that her eyes might clash with her hair when she activates the sharingan but hopefully she would have decided to dye her hair black by then.

"I'm calling her Violet." announced my tired wife.

"Are you thinking straight...her hair is pink not purple?"

"Ok fine how about Blossom?"

"That's a gay name for a kid."

"Sasuke! Fine what do you want then?"

"How's about Rukia, sounds nice."

"..." ha-ha you have to agree with me, cos I'm the best Hell Yeah! "Fine Rukia it is." She said after thinking. So everyone came into the hospital room gushing over the new born baby. They all played pass the parcel with Rukia, passing her from one person to the other, then they all bugged off saying that me and Sakura needed to spend some quality time together.

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Neji POV:

So it's the kids nap time now, I have to put them to bed because Tenten is busy gossiping over the phone with Ino. "Chichiue, has Sakura-chan had the baby yet?" Hibiki asked.

"Yes, it was a girl; looks like you've got another friend now"

"How are babies made?"

Tenten POV:

After I finished on the phone I decided to spy on my husband. I told Hibiki-chan to ask him 'where babies come from'...how's he going to tackle this one.

"Err well...babies come from the mummy's tummy"

"How did it get there and why can't they go in daddy's tummy?"

"Hello chichi you there?" I laughed and walked away.

Neji POV:

Tenten must have put her up to this. "How much did you're mother pay you to ask this question, what ever the price I will double it if you tell her that you're pregnant on you're 15th birthday...but for now ask her what 'sex' is."

"Triple, and then it's a deal, err, what is sex?"

Hibiki POV:

Wow, parents are so easy to break; I'm going to be so rich soon.

"Yo, oka-san what's 'sex'" Barbie doll 20, Make-up kit 15, look on my mother's face when I ask her what sex is...Priceless!

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I did my best!

Um... Read and Review please.


	6. TheInlaws

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Thank you faithful reviewers: TheSunshineGirls, moonlightpath and FireDragonBL

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Recipe for Disaster 

Chapter Six: In-laws

Neji POV:

When you're asleep it's the best thing, it's like you're dead to the world and the universe, and nothing can take you out of this trance until you wake up. I had woken up, and then I wished that I hadn't. It was the twins' birthdays coming up in two days; this was usually the time of the year where the in-laws would poke their nose in where it wasn't wanted. Tenten's mum the biggest flirt known to humanity, she even took a shot at Hiashi-sama, that's how bad she was even though she was married. Also this is where Tenten gets her bad cooking habits. Her dad's ok thought, he's a bit like me, can't stand his daughter's or wife's cooking.

Tenten POV:

YaTa my mum and dad are coming later today, I just can't wait "Wow I'm so excited. Mama's gonna cook some food and I think I like it. Yeah baby, come dance Neji." over the years Neji had become quite the hip dancer when we were first married he used to sing 'Night Fever' to me all the time, but to-day he didn't seem to want to dance, oh my what's wrong with Neji.

Mai POV:

Oka-san's mum is the queen bee of all bad cooks, she's coming over tonight and by the looks of things since chichiue isn't dancing with oka-san I can tell he's not too happy.

Hibiki POV:

It's my birthday soon; I wonder what I will get. /rubs hands together/.

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Neji POV: 

Oh great just great I just got a phone call and not only are Tenten's parents coming but so are the whole Hyuuga clan this means Hanabi, Hiashi, Hinata (Who actually is not a Hyuuga since she's married out side the family, good on her I say.), and I hear that my mother might come but I doubt that since she doesn't give a monkey's about me. Actually the only people who care about me are Tenten, my kids and even possibly Hiashi-sama, god bless that man for making me understand that I no longer have to be a caged bird.

Yea so anyway, there are going to be too many people in our house and I have to put up with more bad cooking. 'Ding-Dong, Ding-Dong, Ding-Dong, Ding-Dong', came the inpatient ringing of the door bell, it cold only be one person-

"Oka-san...how lovely to see you."

"Hello Tenten-chan, you look more and more beautiful every time I come to visit, oh and look at my skin, it's starting to wrinkle, and alas I am ugly."

"No you're not oka-san, any way come in, what you still doing standing in the door way, one minute I'll get Neji to carry you're bags to you're room, uh where's dad?"

"Oh he's just gone to park the donkey in the garage."

"Donkey?"

"Yes dear, how else do you think we got her, by car, now that's just absurd, do you know what effects cars have on global warming, so much pollution it's just dispica- oh hello Neji-kun." she said as I walk down the stairs, I wish I hadn't, I wish I just stayed upstairs braiding my hair. "Oh Neji-kun looking as sexy and glamorous as ever, tell me, how do you keep you're hair so...shiny?" I think I'm going to puke, seriously, like eww. Wait a minute, did I say eww?

"Oh stop it mum, you know Neji's rather shy so just leave him for now ok?"

"Hello Pudding." said Tenten's father, finally someone sane, who has come to save me. "Hello favourite son-in-law."

"Hello." I said, "Would you like a drink?" I asked while I began to drag the suitcases in to the bedroom, they sure had a lot of things to carry, god poor donkey, I better get some carrots, and it might get hungry later. Donkeys do eat carrots...right?

"Yes, martinis for me please...dry." said Tenten's mother in the sexiest voice she could salvage.

"...and you?" I asked looking at her husband, seriously, how could the guy watch her while she flirted with other men? "Tenten you want a drink?"

"Beer please."

"Ah...look how sweet he is offering drinks to everyone, why don't you ever do that Tou-kun?"

"..." was her reply from her husband...ooof that's cold, I hope me and Tenten don't end up like that.

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The twins stumbled into the living room playing 'Shinobies and Spies' they were oblivious to the fact that their grand parent were they at that moment in time since they were well into the game, who wouldn't be, it was a good game. So any way they were fighting with their kunai in hand when their grand mother shouted. "Ah, oh my god, their like little bo-bo-boys, where are you're manners children, don't you even give granny a hug?" Very reluctantly the two girls staggered towards their granny and hugged her. 

Hibiki POV:

Arrrgggg, the game was just getting so good. She always ruins our fun oh my god-er.

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Neji POV: 

Suddenly everything was becoming a bit too much so I decided to use the donkey as my escape goat. I brought a bag of carrots with me and went into our new 'stable'. After feeding it I decided to pour my heart about my dreaded mother-in-law. "...And you know she just flirts so much."

"She's a nice lady you know." said the donkey, WHAT THE DONKEY CAN TALK?

"...AHHH...the donkey it spoke."

"Men really are inadaptable creatures aren't they?"

I straitened my self out trying not to show any emotional, "Um not really I was just surprised for a moment."

"I think you should give you're mother-in-law a chance."

Tenten's Dad POV:

Now I know my wife is a huge flirt but now Neji was pouring his heart to a donkey, I decided to play a little trick on him, the donkey can't really speak but I had attached a little speaker phone on it so it appeared that he had. One reason why Neji is a great son-in-law is that he can be so gullible, but that's pretty rare, I mean he is the great Hyuuga Neji after all.

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Sorry a bit of a boring chapter, maybe I'll update soon. 

Bye-bye!


	7. The Eventful Day, Tenten's Cooking Class

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Thanks for the reviews:

TheSunshineGIrls

munchkin

DemonCloudStrife (thank you times five)

Lee-sanOnee-san

Bakuryuuha

My mum accidentally switched the computer off and I lost all my work so I have to type this whole damn thing again! "Oo what does this button do..." loll

YOU PEOPLE BEST GIVE ME NICE REVIEWS...kidding

Enjoy...

No flamers...

It might not be as funny as my first try...it's a bit OOC

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Recipe for Disaster

Chapter Seven: The Eventful Day, Tenten's Cooking Class

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Seven am, Tenten was preparing food for the twins' birthday. She was marking her territory on one of her cakes that she made for herself, not that she had to of course, because no one would actually eat it.

Neji POV:

Seven am, Oh well I guess I have a little more time left in bed. I'll get up in ten minutes. Ah Tenten's sleeping sound asleep right now; I pulled my arm over her so I could give her a hug, instantly she snuggled up to me. I sniffed in the scent of her hair; how I love the smell of her lavender scented hair...wait a minute that smells like rose water...

"Hey Ten," I whispered in her ear, "Mmm, did you use a different shampoo...smells delish..."

"/snores, grunts and then snorts. /" After hearing this I backed away, Tenten had never snorted in her life, who was this impostor in my bed? I continued to back away until I met a wall I stopped and grabbed a kunai from Tenten's dressing table. "Tenten, intruder alert, Intruder alert." I pressed the secret alarm button on the bottom of the dressing table.

Tenten POV:

Suddenly everyone rushed upstairs to see what the big commotion was. The kids had woken up to. (I bet you're wondering about the alarm right? Well the Hyuuga family are always prepared for the worst so we have an alarm in every single room...lame huh? Well Neji Hyuuga can be a bit over protective.) So the whole family were gathered in the bed room, Neji seemed to be having a nervous breakdown; he was shaking like a leaf.

Hibiki and Mai were walking up to the figure in the bed, senbon in hand. "Wait noooo, that's you're Obaa-san, she slept here because the water bed burst, dad went to sleep on the donkey.

"What WTF." said Neji

"Neji no swearing in front of the children." Neji's eyebrows were twitching. He looked like he was about to barf. Uh oh.

He ran out of the room and locked himself in the toilet.

Neji POV:

Aggr, I feel sick. To think that I smelt my mother-in-laws hair so lovingly, I even pecked her cheek thank god she will be going soon. This was another one of her ploys to steel me away from Tenten. So disgusting.

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AWHILE LATER

I was getting ready for the party when I heard some nasty noises coming from the bathroom. It sounded like, "Yes yes ahhh yes." five minutes later Tenten's mother came out of the bathroom, and she was wearing a robe. I was about to step out when she said..."Mmm, herbal essences, rose scented."

Eww, did that woman have no shame?

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So eventually everyone arrived at the party, the park was filling up with friends who brought their kids. No one was eating the cakes or food that Tenten prepared. But Tenten was too cheerful to notice. Oh crap that troublemaker boy is here.

Troublemaker's POV: In the lobby room...

Yea so I like saw some food going to waste and I like thought, yea let's have a food fight. So then I picked up the pickled chocolate lasagne and threw it in Mai's face the next thing I know Hibiki has activated her Byakugan and she all like ramming cheese cake down my throat. I was like yea is that all you got so then I threw a chicken and cream pie at Hibiki but I missed and got her dad instead the next thing I know my mum's giving my a spank on my botty and now its all soar, its got a big red hand mark now.

Hibiki POV:

Wow that was the best birthday ever, presents and food fights! Though okaa-san looks sad. She's in the corner now talking to Hinata nee-san about learning how to cook, I guess that's a good thing right...?

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Tenten POV:

To-day I woke up besides Okaa-san. Yea I can understand why Neji-kun was freaked out! He said he would sleep on the grass last night since he never ever wanted to have the same experience ever again. This morning I had to mentally prepare myself to go to the Hinata's cooking class. Sakura, Ino and Temari would join as well so they too could learn some tips. I was looking forward to going to the classes because I know that Hinata is a nice girl and I won't feel intimidated by her.

I arrived to the class and took my counter every one was already there. "Tenten you are late, I said 9:00am not 9:03 point 23 secs don't be late ever again. Alright, no more Mrs nice girl, I'm not going to go easy on you three just because you are my best friends, while you are here you will work you're ass off, gottit?"

I didn't even know what I was getting myself into; Hinata was one hell of a mean teacher. It was like being in boot camp. Sakura was on the verge of tears apparently she had put too much Tabasco sauce in the chicken, WTF, Tabasco sauce in chicken; I only ever use it in chocolate dishes.

"Tenten concentrate, you're chopping the onions too big." Hinata was like a pressure cooker one minute she was calm the next she was fuming.

Hinata POV:

Oh my, it's like teaching a bunch of imbeciles. I wish I didn't have to be so mean to them but they are retarded. /sigh/

Sakura POV:

I wanna /sob/ go /sob/ home, I wanna see Sasuke, and I wanna see my babies. Mummy ow she such a mean teacher.

Tenten POV:

Oh thank god the lessons over, Hinata was right my cooking was awful, but she could have been nicer about it, I made some ramen just now she tasted it, spat it out, threw it away, and said it wasn't even fit for Naruto to eat...ah well

Hinata POV:

Hmm that felt good to let out all that stress

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READ N REVIEW

I rather enjoyed writing that chapter, though I lost it a bit at the end...tell me what you think ;)


	8. Sand Wars, At the Beach Part ONE

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Wow...nice reviews...me very happy

Thank You...

TheSunshineGirls

Moonlightpath

deadgalwalking

FireDragonBL (Ok you can have the old Hinata back...)

Lee-sanOnee-san

Ok so were gona have a bit of Gaara in this chapter as requested so read and review and I hope you like this chapter

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Recipe for Disaster

Chapter Eight: Sand Wars/ Part One

Neji POV:

"To day kids we are going on a picnic." said my wife. I rolled my eyes, not an other family picnic. One whole day of sitting by a camp fire eating Tenten's odd concoctions while sitting by a fire singing 'kom baya'.

"Oh that sounds like a wonderful idea Tenten darling." said the mother in law in a rather extravagant tone. Yes she was still here, she was meant to leave ages ago but NOOOO the donkey just had to catch the flu didn't it. Anyway she was still occupying the damn bed, so Tenten decided to kip out side with me.

"Neji what do you think Neji? Want to go to the beach or the park?"

"Hn? Oh I don't mind."

"Ok beach it is then, everyone get your stuff ready and be down stairs in exactly one hour." said Tenten in a very cheerful tone.

1 Hour Later-

I was sitting on the sofa waiting for my wife and kids to come down, women sure took long to get ready but an hour later everyone was down and then Tenten started to drive us to the beach. We walked up to our usual spot on the sand. It had the most perfect view of the shimmering crystal blue sea. As we were walking up to out spot I saw Gaara. Gaara was in my spot. He even had the nerve to shoot us death glares as well. He was with his wife and children too, I softened up a little and decided it was a free country and we could share the spot so I placed the mat on the golden sand and took the baskets off Tenten's hands. The kids were already in the water and the mother and father in laws were sitting in the deck chairs watching the sea. Tenten and I were finally alone.

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Tenten POV:

"So Neji you want to try my lovely new recipe?" I asked my husband. He cringed a little but he didn't know that I had been going to Hinata's cooking classes for about a week. Her food was ok, don't get me wrong but they were a little boring. I mean chicken noodles...yea its tasty but it's also common, but chicken chocolate caviar noodles, not only is it tasty but it's adventurous, daring, its rare and special...just like Neji...kind of.

"Fine, lets see what food you've got then."

"Yay!" So he looked at the boring chicken mayonnaise salad I made, he look kind of shocked?

"Why isn't it brown where's the chocolate...don't tell me you put white chocolate in it?" he said with a hint of laughter in his voice, I playfully punched him and he had a mouth full of the food he seemed to like it so that was a good sign. The kids came running up to us, ruining my beautiful moment.

"Chichiue, can you make us a sand castle please, me and Hibiki keep trying but it keeps breaking." said Mai, she looked like she was about to cry.

"Sure" Neji said.

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Neji POV:

Mai wants me to make a sand castle so I took a bucket and started the process of making the sand castle. It was great fun finally having some bonding time with my children. I made a very good looking castle with a little flag at the top and I even carved some windows into the sand castle. Yes, mine definitely was a great piece of art. "Wow chichiue, yours is very nice but can you make one as good as his?" said Hibiki as she pointed at Gaara's huge castle. I was a proper castle with proper windows and it even had tiny figurines in side.

"Oh...my...holy..." I was so shocked, how the-? What the-? Gaara's children were clapping at their father. "Daddy you're so cool." said the youngest, his wife was fawning all over him and all the kids were surrounding him like he was god or some thing. My kids would never call me cool; I remember Hibiki once called me...lame. I'm not lame...am I?

My wife pattered me on the back. "Bad luck Neji, why don't you try and make an other?" she said.

"It's no use; I'll never be as good as him." I said.

"Yes you are, you're better than him, go on Neji, show him what you're made of! Show him you can make a better sand castle than him use chakra if you have to." Tenten was now screaming in my ear, giving me encouragement to kick his ass.

"YES, YES I'LL DO IT TENTEN, THANK YOU, NOW I KNOW WHY I MARRIED YOU!"

"KNOCK EM DEAD HONEY!" Now we had earned the attention of everyone at the beach. They were all looking at us as if to say, 'are you really dumb enough to challenge Gaara of the sand'.

"Is that a challenge Hyuuga?" said Gaara in a low tone.

"YES!"

"Fine, I bet I won't need to use my special sand abilities to win."

"Oh you bet do you, are you willing to put you're money where you're mouth is?"

"How much?"

"Ooo...I donno how about one hundred?"

"What?" he scoffed "Is that all you got? One hundred and ten then were settled."

"Fine." We shook hands and then we began to create mega big sand castles. I was at a slight disadvantage because sand was a natural thing for him and all he had to do was will it into a particular shape, I could see he was holding back on me a little but that didn't matter. I used chakra to mould the more intricate shapes and I have to say, my sand castle was looking pretty top notch!

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Hibiki POV:

Hmm. Now both of them seem to be neck and neck, people at the beach have even stared putting bets on chichiue and Gaara-san. I hope chichiue win although I think it highly unlikely. Eww they're even starting to sweat buckets now.

Tenten POV:

I'm going to make mon-E today I can feel it.

Mai POV:

Ohhh...chichiue makes nice sand castle but Gaara-san makes nice-er ones...better not tell daddy though. Ohh no there's that trouble maker boy from last week... Why is he stepping near Chichiue's sand castle?

Troublemaker POV:

There's that guy that made me get into trouble with my okaa-san, he's going to pay. There's no way I'm going to let my otou-san lose to this freak, that's right my dad is GAARA OF THE DESERT. So any way I walked up to the freaks sand castle and I was like, ah yea man-err your castle is boom, and then I kicked it up and than it went boom and fell all over me. Mai-chan and Hibiki-chan started to cry because I knock down the castle, it wasn't vat good any way, innit like, you know what I mean like?

Oh crap gotta blaze man innit okaa-san chasing me and she's holding her shoe. OMG...what does she fink she's doing like? I was trying to help otou-san. Ah sh-it man she's getting closer. She runs fast man. Damn I fink I've got a wedgy now, and there's sand in my mouth.

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READ AND REVIEW DONT BE TOO HARSH…next chapter, More sand castle mayhem, Neji sings hymns and Tenten gets challenged to do a master chef competition….yes I know this chapter wasn't brilliant! 


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